sometimes i think to myself about everything that had happened and i jsut keep thinking of what i couldve done to have made it better. maybe if i just hadnt done what i had done then maybe id be better ff and then maybe i wouldnt be here thinking today about what i couldve done. i dont want to think of everything i couldve done to have stopped you leaving but i also think that i dont think there was much else i could do. that day i know i over reacted but i also know that i didnt over react for no reason and that on that day i had a lot of time to have thought about what i was thinking of before telling you dear. yes maybe if i hadnt just raged and blasted questions at you then maybe you wouldve just understood what and how i was feeeling at that time.
i dont know but i cant help to think about everything i couldve done to have made everything all beter. theres alwayss this maybe that i cant help but turn to. but its normal right? i mean anyone who have been in my positioned wouldve asked the exact same question, maybe im not the loner im thinking i am right now just thinking this. but what i also know that i do want is that i still want you back. today wouldve been our 23months and i know id want to do anything just to be with you at this time and on our anniversaries. but now that we're not together anymore i jsut cant help but remember all the times we were together and celebrating it together.
i dont even know what im even saying anymore, everything just seems all puzzled and nothing ever seems to go as what i want it to...
lalalala
did you know hope is the thing that keeeps us together? i reckon its the thing that makes us grow as a person. i mean isnt goals jsut a form of hope? hoping that you'd reach what you're wanting at the moment? sometimes i think we're to hopeful and that we just can't give up on what we really do want. i mean who would give up on what they want, but keep fighting for it?
and another thing, my friend told me and i thought idd jsut like to tell you guys too. hehehe, dont sit there wondering why nothing happens to you. dont you jsut see that nothing ever happens if you dont get out of that comfort spot of yours? go out there and take risks, dont let something that has happened to you affect every decision you make in the future, decisions that may give you the happiness you've been always longing for (YYY)
'what people think of me is none of my business' - anonymous