i'm not doing too bad thanks :D so i wasn't feeling myself for some days but because of that i got to experience some things again. no i didn't go and do the things i've done again cause then if i could've then things would be different i guess, not too different though. well i didn't go back in time but in a way i did sorta? well my rooms a mess and i had to go looking for this pen i needed cause like i needed it to do work and then while doing that i came through some of the stuff that were in my room that i've had for some time, and you know how you have something and like you like it yeah? but then like you just leave it for show in your room you know? like something you really like so you leave it there so that you'll be able to see it but you don't really go through the stuff again? you know?

well i went through it and i just had this feel that i was experiencing it again you know? you start feeling that same thing you did back then when you first went through it. and like some of it i was pretty proud of too, cause some of it reminded me of the things i actually worked hard for back then and the things i went through reminded me again of how that feeling felt back then? made me smile, but i always smile though at times i don't but :D so i guess its another part of the smile i wear everyday at times.

and then it got me thinking that we are what we have done, we do stuff that defines us as us right? and though there are those bumps along the way and we stuff up but thats just something that teaches us to be better than what we did right? yeah people do remember what we've done and judge us on it but that's what they do whether we like it or not. we are always judged because judging is what give us the reminder of who we really are. i mean if there were no judgement's made then anything's that's anything would be nothing right? like if someone was really famous but there was no one to judge that he was famous then he wouldn't be famous right? get me?

whether we get judged or not its how we react to it that counts right?

i'm no perfect person and i don't think there is a person out there that's what you call perfect, cause its our imperfections that bring other people closer to us :D i looked back at that stuff and i realized that i would've been a total blockhead if i wished that i could return back then and re-do it all again. it's because of that that i guess i've gotten to know the people who were still willing to stick by me despite my imperfections, the thing's i've decided to do and yet they're still there. cause i am who i am and that respect that :D even if they had to listen to what i had to say a million times over they stood there trying to make me feel better and maybe finding a way to help me feel better no matter how stubborn i am to not listen and just fight back at them and yet they're still there just staying positive for me. good on ya buddies (YY)

and then i've always got to notice the people that were only there temporarily. the one's that would be there and when they had enough they'd leave me and go about their own troubles. even though i know that i've been a trouble for you i would still try to be there for you till whenever cause that's what friends do or whoever else i am to you. cause friend's stick by each other's side no matter what right? otherwise we'd only be called the temporaries and not friend's.

i looked at those items and i think to myself that i want it the way it was, but i know that if i did have it still then nothing would be the same as it is now. the thing's i've gotten to see and experience wouldn't have happened otherwise, but i still know that even though everything's thats happened and everything that was worked hard for has come back to what it was before then i guess it just proves to me that i hadn't worked hard to have kept it the way it was. but now i know so that means that things could be better than it was before right? but someone once said that 'agreements can't be made unless both parties agree to it'. and no i'm not saying that it's only for love but pretty much everything. you can't be friends with someone unless you both are happy with it, well everything except family cause you can't choose them, they're the people that you have to come and deal with and learn to work with them you know? :DD

"things just can't be forgotten, they can only be misplaced until found again"

i wish i could have a fortune cookie that tells me that better days are coming (YY)